Professionalism during Personal Grief

Five. Between February and August of last year, I lost five loved ones. 

These losses took a lot out of me mentally and emotionally. Here is how I managed working through grief:

I did not manage well. I missed deadlines, I was delayed in responding to emails, and I down right ignored emails. 

Steps I took to get back on track:

1. I let my team know that I had experienced these losses and I would continue to do my best under the circumstances. Being too private about personal matters that may affect your performance can be a detriment to your success. I've seen some career advice that says "never let them see you cry" or "never let them see you sweat." If you set unrealistic expectations to your emotional responses to grief, your colleagues will set unrealistic expectations of you. These shared moments of humanity can foster confidence among the team and take some of the pressure off of you. 

2. I forgave myself for the mistakes. Mistakes happen even we are at our best. They are bound to happen when we are at our worst. If you do make mistakes, forgive yourself, then notify the impacted parties and correct them as quickly as possible. 

Around the Web: Maintaining Professionalism In The Age of Black Death Is….A Lot

Today's Around the Web is a Medium article by Shenequa Golding that I could barely get through reading without crying, because I have not been able to confront my feelings about the world I have to live and work in. Prior to the COVID shutdowns, I lost two close relatives, and I kept working. The world came to a standstill, death and illness seemed omnipresent, and we were all forced indoors, and I kept working (my work increased). This past week, something finally broke there was no more denying and pushing through all of my feelings. I cried and worked and cried. One of the biggest threats to Black achievement, and even existence, in Corporate America, is the unspoken requirement that Black workers compartmentalize and suppress the challenges of existing while Black in a system designed for racists by racists. 

Shenqua Golding's article captures this feeling:

"We’re biting our tongues, swallowing our rage and fighting back tears to remain professional because expressing that hurt caused by witnessing black death is considered more unprofessional, than black men and women actually being killed."

Read the full article here.

Authenticity: Who You are is Non-Negotiable, by Caroline Wanga

Caroline Wanga shares her insights on authenticity in the workplace and beyond. 

Around the Web: Ellevate presents 10 Rules of Success for Women of Color at Work

"Keep showing up, persevering and demonstrating your best efforts. While your work may go unnoticed at times, it’s important to consistently show up and bring your best contribution to the table." - Solonge Lopes

Ellevate.com published an article written by Solange Lopes, CPA providing career advice for Women of Color at work. Here are a few of our favorite excerpts:

Stop being afraid of being yourself.

"Most people in the corporate world wear a mask. It’s just a fact. However, for women of color at work, wearing a mask has many times been a necessity. According to studies by the Center for Women Policy, 21% of women of color do not think they can be themselves at work. Another 28 to 44% believe they must downplay their ethnicity to increase their chances of success at work.

While this is still the reality in many, if not most, corporate environments, authenticity is still the best way to change the dialogue about women of color at work. The more we hide behind our corporate masks, the less we can bring focus on the actual issues faced by women of color at work."

Get used to being uncomfortable.

"Being a woman of color at work rhymes with being uncomfortable. Not only are there very few other women of color in the room, but our lack of representation can also make it challenging for others to understand the struggles we may face.

However, being uncomfortable is also an advantage. The more uncomfortable you are, the more prepared you tend to be. Getting used to uncomfortable and challenging environments is also the key to being innovative and a high performer."

Around the Web: BE Recognizes "Most Powerful Women in Corporate America"

Today's Around the Web comes from Black Enterprise's editing staff. It is a list of the most powerful Black Women in Corporate America. Among other criteria set out in the article, the list includes "Top-tier executives who serve as corporate officers or members of the senior leadership team."

"A black woman may not be the image that comes to mind for most people when they hear corporate power—and it certainly won’t be the result of a Google search—but around here, we know better. Women of color are remaking the face of leadership teams and C-suites at corporations across the country and around the globe.

So we’re celebrating the fearless female executives who have managed both to stand firm in the face of hostile corporate environments and to take the bull by the metaphorical horns, powering their careers to the top.

The recent Women in the Workplace report from McKinsey and LeanIn showed that black women receive the least support of all women (and significantly less support than men) from their managers, with just 35% reporting that their managers create opportunities for them to showcase their work, promote their contributions to others, or socialize with them outside of work. 

So how have dozens of black women overcome these obstacles to make it to the top of the corporate ladder? By owning their power, of course."

A few names on the list which boasts 136 women leaders include: JoAnn Jenkins (CEO, AARP), Patricia Maryland (EVP, Ascension), Rosalind Brewer (COO, Starbucks), Ann-Marie Campbell (EVP, Home Depot), Rhonda Ferguson (CLO, Union Pacific), Carla Harris (Vice Chairman, Morgan Stanley), Freda Lewis-Hall (Chief Medical Officer, Pfizer), and Wanji Walcott (General Counsel, PayPal).

Check out the full article here: Most Powerful Women in Corporate America

Lex Reflects: Making Black Women in corporate leadership positions more visible is so important for the future of Black Women in leadership. IncorporatingU salutes Black Enterprise for this important effort. 

Young, Black and Corporate: The Sell Out Myth

Working in Corporate America does not make you a "Sell Out"....You have to earn that title.

Corporate culture has been shaped and modified over hundreds of years into the form it takes today. Very few people of any race or gender can participate in corporate culture without having to adopt some of the customs, language and dress. The notion of the Black, "sell out" assimilationist makes no sense. Everyone who wants to participate in corporate culture "assimilates" in the true definition of the word (not the loaded, judgmental definition). Trading your jeans and T-shirt for a suit and tie is no different than a doctor wearing a white coat or a firefighter wearing a uniform. It doesn't mean you've sold yourself because you prefer jeans, but that you realize the suit is more appropriate for the work.  

Retaining Yourself in Corporate America

The question of diversity in Corporate America has historically been approached from a model of getting more diverse candidates in the door. Recently, retention has taken on a larger role in diversity programming, though many companies still struggle to retain diverse talent beyond the junior ranks.

I often ask my more senior intra-organizational mentors what they like or dislike about their positions, mainly because I'm trying to figure out if I want the job one day. What many companies miss when asking the retention question about us is that retention starts with providing clear information about what it means to be retained. If they see a future for us, then they should show us the vision early and often. Further, the present lack of diversity in the upper levels of many  companies makes it even harder for young, Black Corporates to see themselves in those ranks.

Ellen McGirt recently published an article on Fortune.com about the retention of African-American executives. The article highlights the research of Dr. Lawrence James, Jr., "a Chicago-based clinical psychologist-turned-leadership-consultant." In his white paper Journey to the Top, Dr. James explores the key elements to career advancement for African-Americans on the executive track, which include relationship building, business acumen and self-insight.

Around the Web: BE Assembles Your Mentoring Dream Team

Black Enterprise's Kandia Johnson recently presented her list of must-have mentors in #SquadGoals: 5 Types of Mentors Everyone Needs to Succeed:

"When it comes to achieving success, sometimes we’re too quick to give up. We can allow things like setbacks, fear, loneliness, ego, and false expectations stop us from reaching our goals. But, with the right mentors—a squad comprised of coaches, supporters, and disruptors—we can get ahead in our careers and get through this thing called life.

Here are five types of mentors everyone needs to succeed.

Mentor 1: The Challenger

Taking constructive criticism is hard, but it’s necessary for career advancement. The Challenger is a straight shooter—the one who doesn’t tell you what you want to hear, but tells you what you need to hear. They’re visionaries who embrace disruption, so they’ll challenge you to step outside of your comfort zone and take a risk. And, they won’t tolerate too many excuses.

 Mentor 2: The Industry Insider

When it comes to your chosen field, the Insider knows about the good, the bad, and the ugly. They can help you strategize on ways to navigate the culture, and position you for success."

Check out the full article: 5 Types of Mentors Everyone Needs to Succeed

Lex Reflects:

I really enjoyed this article. I think it is important to remember that a good mentor can serve more than one of these roles, but you also don't want to exhaust that person's capacity to be a resource to you. My mentoring style is definitely that of a challenger. I love pushing my mentees beyond the assumptions, expectations and doubts that they sometimes have. I think my biggest mentoring struggle is the role of cheerleader. I seek constructive criticism, but shy away from positive feedback. As a result, it is also hard for me to be a cheerleader for others. I am proud and excited when my mentees succeed, but I struggle to convey those feelings.

Sunday's Best is NOT Monday Dress: Church Clothes vs. Work Clothes

Many young Black professionals in Corporate America find a network, a support system and a morale boost by frequenting Sunday houses of worship. In more traditional church settings suits, ties, dresses and satellite-dish-sculptured hats are common attire.

Church styles are often inappropriate for the corporate office. Despite the recent evolution of corporate fashion, bright colored suits, wide lapels, frilly tops, and satin ties are still deal breakers.

Around the Web: What you missed in Dame Dash's Breakfast Club Interview

Back in March, Dame Dash did an interview on The Breakfast Club. I don't follow the show or Mr. Dash hence this delayed post, but a friend recently brought the interview to my attention. I've reached a place in my career where entrepreneurial thoughts monopolize my days in the office and this interview gave me a lot more to think about. It was interesting. Even if the underlying messages of "be your own boss" and "invest in yourself" are worn out, the delivery and examples of practical applications make the interview worth the watch. Warning: The interview is long, combative and offensive to pretty much every category of person. It is full of many ideas to which I do not subscribe. Watch at your own risk.

Here's what I found when I stepped back to think about Dame Dash's statements:

Diversify your Network. 

Mr. Dash appears on the show with two individuals with whom he has both personal and business relationships with. These men are not in suits, they don't have fancy titles...these are neighborhood dudes from Harlem that challenge him, encourage him and support him. CEO's don't become successful and remain successful by only spending time with other CEO's. One of the biggest mistakes new Corporates (especially new Black Corporates) make is assuming that people who are not in Corporate America don't have anything to teach you or offer you to succeed in Corporate America. Grandma may not have had the opportunities to go to school and succeed in the business world because of a whole host of 'isms, but she probably knows how to hustle in a way your roommate at WhoGivesA University does not.

Around the Web:10 CHARACTERISTICS OF HIGHLY SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

This week we bring you an "Around the Web" from Chris Hogan on characteristics of highly successful people. While most lists like these are cliché, unimaginative and lacking substance, Chris gives helpful advice for young corporate leaders. Here are our top picks: 

"It’s easy to get sidetracked by the trivial. If you’re not careful, you’ll spend valuable time on distractions that don’t help you reach your goals. Successful people concentrate on those tasks that line up with their mission and vision."

InterviewingU: Interview with Sherri of Corporate Curls

We had the pleasure of interviewing Sherri of Corporate Curls to talk about her work to make Corporate America a safe place for natural hair.

Fast Fasts about Sherri

             Name: Sherri of Corporate Curls

Age: Still a Spring Chicken

From: North Carolina

Job: Corporate America – Manger of people. 

Lex: What are some of your hobbies?

Sherri: I love creating beauty with my hands including, but not limited to, drawing, styling hair, painting, and sewing.

When Black Lives Don't Matter in the Office

I ran from this post. I fought this post. This post was the reason I created this blog and yet it is one of the most terrifying things I've done.

Seeing people who look like me pour their rage into the streets, onto placards, and up against Facebook walls does something to me. It's like drumming. They are on my television in the morning as I button my blazer and slip on my "walk to work" shoes. They are in the streets at night when I'm walking home after a long day with my laptop slung across my shoulder just in case something comes up. The drumming is getting louder and louder, but no one else in my office seems to hear it. Deals and deliverables. Birthdays and barhopping. Vacations. Nannies. House of Cards.

Are the turmoil and anxiety of an entire group of people shadowing my existence imaginary? Have I fabricated it? And then someone breaks the fourth wall and I know they can all see the drummer even if they cannot hear the music. Murmurs about the inconvenience of protesters disturbing their commutes. Whispers about seeing the riots on the news. Never to me.  But these words float in the corridor. It is a miracle I can hear them over the drums. I stay silent at work. I'm afraid if I start talking it will sound like the loud and oppressive drumming. I'm afraid of not being taken seriously, being ignored or, worse, being pitied.

Black lives don't matter in the office. Deadlines matter. Bottom lines  matter. But color lines, wealth lines, lines that separate Black people from justice don't matter in the office. This piece is for those of us watching the protests from our offices. Meeting deadlines, not leading picket lines. Staying busy, working later, doing all that we can to ignore the drumming. I hope it works for you. It's not working for me. There is an urgency in my spirit that is dangerous to success in Corporate America. Our jobs often depend on the same institutions that perpetuate our oppression.

IncorporatingUs: Black Enterprise's Five Black CFOs Calling the Shots in Corporate America

Occasionally, we'll feature articles and videos from around the internet. Look out for more IncorporatingUs posts. Today's feature is Black Enterprise's "Women of Power: Five Black CFOs Calling the Shots in Corporate America.

 Mary A. Winston, Family Dollar Stores, Inc.

"For three years, Mary A. Winston has been the Executive Vice President and Chief Financial Officer for Family Dollar Stores, Inc. She oversees finance and accounting, corporate communications and enterprise strategy functions. Previously, Ms. Winston served as VP and CFO for Giant Eagle, Inc. and EVP and CFO for Scholastic Corporation. She graduate from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee with a BBA and later acquired an MBA from Northwestern University Kellogg School of Management. The wife and mother of two currently resides in Charlotte, North Carolina."

See the full list here:  http://www.blackenterprise.com/career/women-power-five-black-cfos-calling-shots-corporate-america/

Watch Me Work: Popular Black TV Characters in Corporate America

I asked several of my friends and families members to name a popular Black TV character in Corporate America. Every answer was preceded by a long pause. Often their answers were of Black professionals who were not necessarily in a corporate profession. Here are a few of my picks for Black Corporate TV characters:

Gina Waters, Martin

The title character’s better half Gina Waters works for a public-relations firm. She is one of the few characters on the show who is identified as college-educated. She is also often accused of being stuck up.  Not only is she a Black corporate professional, but so is her boss Mr. Whitaker. She ultimately moves up the ranks to a promotion as senior vice president of her firm’s LA office. Her promotion appears to present a conflict for her love life with Martin, but the couple jointly decides to move to LA to further their careers.

Kyle Barker, Living Single

Kyle Barker is a stockbroker living in New York and the stylish neighbor of the show's leading ladies. Through the show's run he earns multiple promotions. His iconic natural hairstyle became an issue when he was up for partner at his firm, not from the White partners, but from the other Black person in the room. One of his more memorable corporate moments was his impassioned defense of his hairstyle as an expression of his heritage.