Professionalism during Personal Grief

Five. Between February and August of last year, I lost five loved ones. 

These losses took a lot out of me mentally and emotionally. Here is how I managed working through grief:

I did not manage well. I missed deadlines, I was delayed in responding to emails, and I down right ignored emails. 

Steps I took to get back on track:

1. I let my team know that I had experienced these losses and I would continue to do my best under the circumstances. Being too private about personal matters that may affect your performance can be a detriment to your success. I've seen some career advice that says "never let them see you cry" or "never let them see you sweat." If you set unrealistic expectations to your emotional responses to grief, your colleagues will set unrealistic expectations of you. These shared moments of humanity can foster confidence among the team and take some of the pressure off of you. 

2. I forgave myself for the mistakes. Mistakes happen even we are at our best. They are bound to happen when we are at our worst. If you do make mistakes, forgive yourself, then notify the impacted parties and correct them as quickly as possible. 

Around the Web: Maintaining Professionalism In The Age of Black Death Is….A Lot

Today's Around the Web is a Medium article by Shenequa Golding that I could barely get through reading without crying, because I have not been able to confront my feelings about the world I have to live and work in. Prior to the COVID shutdowns, I lost two close relatives, and I kept working. The world came to a standstill, death and illness seemed omnipresent, and we were all forced indoors, and I kept working (my work increased). This past week, something finally broke there was no more denying and pushing through all of my feelings. I cried and worked and cried. One of the biggest threats to Black achievement, and even existence, in Corporate America, is the unspoken requirement that Black workers compartmentalize and suppress the challenges of existing while Black in a system designed for racists by racists. 

Shenqua Golding's article captures this feeling:

"We’re biting our tongues, swallowing our rage and fighting back tears to remain professional because expressing that hurt caused by witnessing black death is considered more unprofessional, than black men and women actually being killed."

Read the full article here.